Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel

Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved | Esther Perel

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  1. My grandmother used to say this about infidelity:
    "Men give love to get s€x..and women give s€x, to get love.."
    Umm, okayee ?
    Oh' wow grandma' gee thanks ? for that little pearl of info..turns out, she wasn't wrong. Thanks
    @Ted Talk ?

  2. That's all fine and everything but cheating should still come with irreparable consequences. Also I'd like to add that the people you describe cheating for the reasons you explain are all women. Women can never be satisfied.

  3. Dare I say that couples should seriously consider open relationships prior to getting married. If the answer to that is no then just don't get married. That honesty in each couple exploring how someone else makes you feel might be quite a game changer in these issues… (Ps: Ive never been in an open relationship)

  4. nah, throw them all out. just be single. don't waste people's lives just bc you're an ain't shizzz cheater who can't be honest, gaslights and manipulates. the grass is greener where you nurture it. otherwise you are selfish and scummy on a level that your god may forgive, but i don't.

  5. why don't people just accept that we're not made for sexually exclusive relationships. if both partners are open about their desires and their affairs, if they don't have to hide things but can share their stories, everything will become easier, and instead of a hurt ego and shattered illusion we get real and growing love. we don't own the other, we just share parts of our paths. let us do so in unconditional love and freedom.

  6. This orator can really weave a compelling narrative. Ive watched this ted talk several times now and am always enthralled by how captivating Esther is. Her charisma and charm are only eclipsed by her knowledge and insight. I aspire to one day think and talk as gracefully as she does.

  7. Yes it takes two to make a relationship work! It takes one individual to have the courage to do what is necessary to make the relationship evolve into what the relationship is meant to be…..stay or go…….Often times there is one person stronger than the other ( it’s just a fact ) but it’s up to that stronger individual to expedite it because the weaker one won’t

  8. It’s so so hard letting go even for the smallest of things tho in time
    with hope and increased strength of one’s self an understanding of it all and to see the other as a friend and one who help carve your new path . So enjoy life and be better at everything one does .
    In all of this there’s prayers

  9. I wish she would have put more emphasis on how that type of betrayal continues to destroy your self worth and puts the person at risk for further abuse whether they stay or leave. Its not a single injury. Its the gift that keeps on giving if you are not working with a therapist to pick up the peices of yourself. It's not just the relationship that will be forever changed. Some of us will spend years trying to believe we are worthy of something good after experiencing that type of trauma.

  10. Worst part about infidelity is the fact that cheaters are too scared to jump the boat.
    Is it really love if you can't take the risk and sacrifice your safe space which is marriage for potentially better one?

  11. Quer transar, vai lá e transa mas não engane ninguém, qual eh a graça de sair transando com todo mundo? Até quando o ser humano irá acreditar que a melhor coisa que já inventaram é colocar um pinto duro numa vagina molhada? que fonte de prazer ridículo, gente que só pensa em sexo tem uma vida muito pobre. São pessoas animalescas que acreditam que ficar quatro como dois animais é a coisa que já inventaram. Gente que vida ridícula.

  12. The show was over in first 30 seconds…. Men cheat out of boredom and women cheat out of loneliness, hunger for intimacy….and you always have a choice to stay or leave …no force is acting upon's as simple as that.

  13. Even when two people are completely satisfied with and faithful to each other , there's a fundamental flaw at the heart of it that could undo the whole thing. And that is that no person and no relationship is meant to fulfill you. Whether it's marriage or a one night stand, all seeking for pleasure and fulfillment outside of yourself is a mistake. The only relationship that works is the one where the two individuals in it are spiritualy anchored within themselves and not the other. The heart of sexual desire is a spiritual yearning that can only be satisfied by looking within and deconstructing the false premises of the self and it's relationship to reality. When we do that we start to find and understand God (not religion) and we incrementally no longer need another to prop us up or to make us feel good about ourselves. You stop seeking solace and permanence and you relax into your life whether you're alone or partnered.

  14. I believe this person needs healing. She is confused. Infidelity is a decision. Love is also a decision. I decide to love someone. If you don't what love is, you are a potencial infidelity practioners or victim.

  15. I think you found your voice. These videos should use as a lesson to “be careful how you treat others, because they will treat you the same”. Let us use these videos as lessons to walk away from evil people.

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  17. "Why do we cheat?"

    Esther is a cheater, no wonder she's a cheating apologist. Garbage woman, garbage take. She's got an MA in "art therapy" as her only credential, has never published a peer reviewed journal piece.

    She's a hack.

  18. I wonder what her stake in the game is. Was she the cheater or was she cheated upon? It seems to me as though she is speaking from the cheater's point of view, with all the positive "healing" spin she piles onto her arguments.

  19. The ending message is what captivated me and felt profound. Very well said. If there's still love between partners, end the first marriage and begin anew in a second one with each other…..if that's what both would like.

  20. There is no such thing as cheating. Human beings have brains, minds, emotions, thinking capabilities, memory. It all manifests in physical, mental, emotional actions. Plus women should have supreme choice of selecting men. Whoever he may be, a husband, friend, acquaintance etc. at any point in her life. It's not cheating. If men can accept it, good. If they don't, well it's to their peril! All this cheating non sense has been devised by men, their religion and concepts thrust on women.