Why Compatibility Is More Important Than Chemistry | by Jay Shetty

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Ever get caught up in the chemistry of a relationship, only to realize later you weren’t compatible? Jay Shetty reminds us that most of our visions of compatibility and chemistry come from the media. We expect one person to be everything in our lives, but that’s not possible.

In this video, Jay Shetty explains three foundations to compatibility: the ability to communicate well, common personal goals, and honesty and comfort in expressing one’s soul with each other.

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Jay Shetty is a storyteller, podcaster, and former monk who wants to make wisdom go viral. He loves taking his own life experiences, lessons from his time as a monk, and truths he has learned to make others’ lives better.

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About The Author

Jay Shetty I’m Jay Shetty - a storyteller, podcaster & former monk. My vision is to make wisdom go viral in an accessible, relevant & practical way. Check back for my videos that are posted each week on the topics of motivation, wisdom, love and relationships.

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Comment (897)

  1. Could you show couples resolving things together?? Er are flooded with stories of getting together and breaking up, bit not about how else to behave, communicate and resolve… We need different stories.

    Thanks for what you do.

  2. "my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier."

    Yours sincerely,

    Sheryl Sandberg, chief operating officer of Facebook

    What most simps, feminist fe/males, white-knights, betas and conservative guys fail to realize: bad boys provide excitement, novelty, unpredictability and fun (fear, roller-coaster drama) to a new level. In other words, stability and commitment (no longer) won't cut it for today's 🦄. Why is that? Before she was your girlfriend, wife or lover, she already had been "run through" so many guys. And each time she slept with someone (both wo/men), she lost a part of her soul. In other words, she is no longer able to have emotional attachment in a healthy or committed way.

    Isaiah 3:12
    Childish leaders oppress my people, and women rule over them. O my people, your leaders mislead you; they send you down the wrong road

    Anatomy of Female Power by Chinweizu Ibekwe

    Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programing Manual by Anonymous

  3. What about compability without enough chemistry? I’d still rather choose chemistry. I feel like in love, you should go for that flame/passion, you only live once and do not want to regret.. if you like/love eachother enough you will find a way to grow to eachother and make it work. Stability can be build, chemistry cannot. Life is about ups and downs and taking a chance. You NEVER know the outcome of anything. This is my point of view.