Why Is an Ordinary Life Not Good Enough Anymore? – Alain De Botton

Why Is an Ordinary Life Not Good Enough Anymore? – Alain De Botton

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If you are struggling, consider an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp: https://tryonlinetherapy.com/fightmediocrity
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Watch The School of Life founder Alain De Botton’s amazing interview on London Real: https://londonreal.tv/alain-de-botton-the-school-of-life-how-to-apply-philosophy-to-real-life

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32 Comments

  1. after living in the US for over 25 years i realized i would never be happy as once i was in my native Rio, so i left and now i realize how sick of a society the americans have buit, based on money and where a neighboor not saying a mere good morning to another neighboor is the norm and not the exception; its a sick way of living and most american are extremely neurotic even when are abroad, worrieed about shit that doesnt matter and forgetful to act like decent human beings, or, as another person who also lived abroad put it: ' the longer i stay away from Brazil, the more i like the way we Brazilians are', and that is a simple formula for hapiness

  2. I respectfully disagree. It wasn't our governments and especially the US government that brainwashed us with the mentality of "Anyone can achieve anything", it's us who torture ourselves.

    "Most of humanity's problems came from a man simply unable to quietly sit in his room and do nothing."

    We can't live with boredom, we can't live ordinary lives, our ancestors and every generation thus far has worked hard and strived toward "a peaceful, painless, happy life" and made it their meaning when they themselves went through war, death, famine, plagues, natural calamities, genocides etc. That dream was an excuse, a faith to hold onto in order to endure their suffering, but in reality, their suffering was their meaning. It is only after we go through hell ourselves when we can finally start appreciating every little small thing life has gifted to us, even breathing. We can't simply just take the word of another person saying "be grateful for what you have" and simply sit idly doing nothing.

    The reason for this is that our brains are deeply wired to do so through evolution over the course of millions of years. Originally, we lived in small tribes constantly under the threat of death and destruction through elemental disasters, other hostile tribes out to conquer us, and predator animals, as well as infighting and disease. Eventually, after so many generations grew up living every second of their lives suffering, our brains evolved to expect suffering, to wait for suffering to occur to us, and it got to the point where we even started unconsciously desiring and wanting for suffering to come to us. But, after millions of years of our ancestors struggling, we eventually formed a complex system of a tightly-knit world union of countries, we made immense progress in technology, we're the top dogs now. Our only enemy is our own species now. After WW1, WW2 and everything our grandparents and great-grandparents went through, we're currently living in a time of luxury and peace. Though we may think this is the ideal life, our brains actually oppose it because it needs suffering. What is happiness without suffering? There is no shadow without light, and stars can't shine without the black sky. Happiness saturates suffering, and so does suffering contrast and intensify happiness. It is only after we lose everything, that we can experience happiness in its truest and fullest form.

    Eventually, your typical happy joyful functional nuclear family would go mad from all the monotony it experiences, every day filled with the same people, same boring things and everything. We can't sit by and do nothing and call that kind of life a good one, a meaningful life is one where we survive and go through struggle, and come out on top with something bigger than ourselves in our hands. Humans simply can't just sit in their rooms and stare at their walls thinking of nothing, our brains will always come up with some sort of activity for us to do.

    At least that's my interpretation of the topics presented in this video.

  3. Just stumbled on this video and all I can say is: fantastic. I truly hope that all people can get this message. Money, fame and glamour are very misleading concepts but, most of all…money is not everything and never begets happiness….its all from within. And it starts with loving thy self above all else….

  4. But we are still allowed (even requested gently and powerfully) by Life to grow from natural to supernatural, away from material and human-based success! I would love to discuss it with the wonderfully interesting Alain!

  5. He is just saying that somewhere in deep we already know and want to say to ourselves every day but never got that courage to say to us this person has authorized our thoughts that we are thinking right but are just trapped in thoughts that society sells to us

  6. the ordinary life is exactly that: ordinary. we as humans have an inherent desire to achieve our full potential, but somewhere along the way we got distracted and misguided into thinking what we wanted isn't it. and we come to believe it. the truth is that if you have conviction or a unique set of skills, you have no business being ordinary. you will offer unto the world a value that ordinary people cannot give. and thereby impact/change the world in the process. most of the change brought into this world has been done by those who are extraordinary or have worked to become extraordinary. and pushed past anything the world has to offer.

    the question isn't "why is an ordinary life not good enough anymore?" OF COURSE an ordinary life isn't "good enough." this video serves to placate those who are living an ordinary life to feel as if they are "good enough." what does that even mean? an extraordinary person isn't going to settle for good enough when there's a world to be explored and things to be created. the question instead is "what do i want out of this life, and how will i create it?"

    set your own standard and live life how you want.

  7. Next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don’t think this is somebody who is greedy or materialistic.
    This issomebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love.

  8. i lead an ordinary life and i love it, in the eyes of others and some family members i could do more and be more, indirectly i let them know that they're barking at the wrong tree, why should buy a 4000$ dollar car when im happy and satisfied with the 500$ dollar car which i own already, for example,
    talk to my maker , up in the sky,

  9. If you aren't killing yourself to become better than everyone else, you aren't realizing your full potential.
    But what if being better than everyone else only requires not becoming like everyone else?
    Is not being TRULY individual the ultimate freedom?
    Others' opinions of you are none of your business, anyway – the information they've collected is hopelessly inadequate, so what makes them experts on you?
    I'd rather live one day with my own thoughts and feelings than a lifetime of what anyone else believes I should think or feel.

  10. I made the choice to remain in the dark, keep my head low and follow the Most High! While most of the world are showing their cards I'm playing mine right!

  11. I live in Sri Lanka.And the first question you meet a new person or someone you met in a long is "what do you do"? Depending on the answer you will be respected and recognized.I mean having a normal ordinary life is totally.Its the society that has made it look bad,as it has been given that you are a nobody.This way of thinking is very toxic.End of the day you don't live to satisfy others expectations.

  12. I hated myself I still do because I'm not someone important it has effected my life hugely and I have been suicidal most of my life I'm only 32 and it kills me inside. My teachers were awful always saying I wouldn't amount to much when I was in school thinking I was slow when I wasn't cuz apparently I looked slow it's been a difficult 32 years if I'm honest but everyone needs to watch this

  13. We desperately need to re-define the meaning of success! "Money doesn't buy happiness", maybe it does, but only temporarily, a shallow pursuit as many famous "unhappy" celebrities have also resorted to drugs/alcohol which is another epidemic and suicide! We see that all the time as in the last decade there was a whole rash of celebrity suicides! This is nothing new! This has been going on ever since the Golden Age of Hollywood in the 1920s, 30s, 40s and 50s, but it has escalated! The statistics fill the Hollywood Death books, even their children! Sadly, it also exists in the fashion industry, the music industry, the sports arena and politics as well, along with everyday people who aren't famous! Celebrities get paid millions of dollars, get too many awards which also contributes to the celebrity narcissism, how they get their "narcissistic feed"! While a great many in society are lucky enough to have a roof over their heads, food on the table and a pot to piss in! READ "Simple Prosperity' and 'AFFLUENZA" , another society sickness by David Wann and other authors, still another major epidemic here and another pandemic worldwide i.e. the super wealthy one percent oligarchy which contributes to Global Warming/Climate change i.e. "over-consumption"! The landfills are filled with everything over-consumed and non-biodegradeable, some for 500 years! "AFFLUENZA" is also a great documentary to watch and still needs to go viral! So to begin with THINK GREEN and plant more trees! Think Globally, ACT locally! Deforestation and the destruction of the Amazon rain forest in Brazil has also contributed to GW/CC! The United Nations recently released a CODE RED ALERT forewarning us of dire consequences by 2030, that's just 8 years from now and by 2050 if we don't ACT NOW! "If we destroy the environment, we won't have a society'…per the late American cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead in the early/mid 20th century! "There is NO Planet B", obviously! WAKE UP CALL, before it's too late! Peace, love and namaste~

  14. In the USA, "Great" is the gold standard — so much so that the word 'great' is used for everything from heads of state to new formulations of shampoo. I find it shallow and sad.