Parenting: Grace or Consequence | Eckhart Tolle

Parenting: Grace or Consequence | Eckhart Tolle

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How do we help children become aware of the consequences of their actions? Eckhart shares his opinion, including the importance of keeping our personal fears out of our efforts to re-direct behavior.

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50 Comments

  1. People want more than anything to be seen, and yet they are terrified of being seen because they are afraid of what will be seen. And there is so much we want to hide, and yet we have hidden from ourselves that which is best in us.

  2. Parents get caught between too strict and too lenient. Finding the natural consequences without the emotional drama is really difficult as it does require presence. Which is often lacking in the heat of the situation! 🙂

  3. When my son was young I once did something that went against all the common parenting advice for the situation: He pulled my hair and I pulled his back. He didn't do it again.
    I think you have to trust your instincts, not something you heard or read, although that can be useful too.

  4. I will never scream again at my dog in order to the fact she eats too much since then I am the one who gives her too much food so when she looks at me and does not understand she IS right. Grace and awareness… They could save the world. SO grateful ❤️🙏

  5. Corinthians 6:9-11
    New King James Version
    9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. (A)Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor [a]homosexuals, nor [b]sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were (B)some of you. (C)But you were washed, but you were [c]sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
    Leviticus 19 31
    Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them: I am the Lord your God__

  6. Dios te bendiga y Dios bendiga a Todos los que estan leyendo esto! Deseo que tengan un hermoso dia! Buscad a Dios mientras pueda ser hallado! Jesus es el camino y el unico camino y regresa pronto! Recuerda cuando te sientas que no eres amado… el mayor sacrificio se hizo por amor! EL SUICIDIO NUNCA ES LA RESPUESTA!

    Porque de tal manera amó Dios al mundo, que ha dado a su Hijo unigénito, para que todo aquel que en él cree, no se pierda, mas tenga vida eterna.
    S. Juan 3:16 RVR1960

    La paga del pecado es muerte (infierno) pero Cristo pagó nuestra deuda en la cruz para nuestra salvacion! Debemos volvernos a Dios y apartarnos de nuestros caminos pecaminosos, confesar que Jesús es el Señor y creer con nuestro corazón que fue resucitado de entre los muertos por Dios, y  debemos de ser bautizados en el nombre del Padre, del Hijo y del Espíritu Santo y vivir por Su palabra y mandamientos! Confia que Dios ayudara con el resto!

    Busca a Dios, antes de que sea muy tarde! Hoy podria ser tu ultimo dia en la tierra!

    A Dios Sea La Gloria!

  7. One has to always pull a child gently away from a child who is biting.
    Logical consequences are much different than natural consequences.
    One does not have to let their child run into traffic to learn the consequence of broken bones and death.
    It really is COMMON SENSE.
    So frustrated with people not realizing they must teach their children and show them over and over and deal with things immediately when they are doing self harm, or harming others.
    Natural consequences are evident in that if a child spills milk, the child helps clean it up.
    If a child colours on the wall, then say walls are not for colouring and they help clean it up.
    Age appropriate teaching, and repetition. And believe it or not, all the things one teaches their child one week likely has to be repeated again in another week or two.
    Be consistent with guiding, rewards, and deterring children from dangerous or socially unacceptable behaviour.
    Hitting never works, grabbing a child running into traffic is different.
    But then hold the child and calmly teach the child what is danger and what is not. And show examples of a caterpillar getting crushed by a bike wheel.
    How do people think permissive parenting is teaching anything but fears about the world without boundaries. or non fear about danger.

    Be common sense people. Too rigid is bad, too permissive is bad. And you know what works as the middle ground is a LOT of daily, weekly, and monthly and ongoing teaching, guiding, talking, examples. Parents are hands on age appropriate and eventually there are increments where a child is ready to be doing more on their own when they show understanding, accountability.
    But do not project adult like understanding on a child who has not experienced the daily challenges of the world in most situations.
    That is why they have parents.

  8. my grandson ran out on the road today, his dog was with me, he was without a lead as he always walks beside me, we were coming from a narrow country path when he just ran out as we reached the opening, we were picking and eating blackberries, the dog ran across with me but my focus was on my grandchild and I wasn't aware of the dog as we walked back on the path, a car came and just broke in time stopping in front of the dog. I started to give out about running across the road, at the same moment a car came and braked in front of the dog, my grandchild saw it, and I told him his dog nearly got knocked down following him running across the road and he could have too. I know I need now to always put the lead on the dog but feel also I need a lead for my grandson. I didn't say anymore we went back down the path and picked some more blackberries where there was no more roads and went to his home. Grace🙏

  9. Eckhart, would this powerful insight and guidance apply equally to a child with neurological differences? We have a self harming, bitter and I’ve been supporting her through affirmations so she is reminded she is loved, matters and safe.

  10. What is the age of the child Eckhart is referring to here? Toddlers biting or acting aggressively seems to be common. What about an 8 year old repeatedly acting aggressively (hitting, dragging, slapping, scratching/breaking skin, ect.) towards his peers? I am trying to use grace and consequence with my son but its hard because it only happens at school. It does trigger my pain body every time I hear about it. He is turning me into a zen master, slowly but surely!

  11. What advice do you have for someone with ADHD? Being present requires focus. I even struggle with deciding to meditate and then following through with it because of executive dysfunction. I feel like I am floating anchor-less in space.

  12. I’ve been a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle since he first showed up years ago.

    This is probably been the worst advice given I’ve ever heard from him in my entire life.

    Do what you want it’s completely up to you, but when the child needs mental health expertise. You go and get it.

  13. I to eye contact, explanation of wrong doing, What the child needs to do to correct His actions to be safe Be a parent for goodness sakes , I've seen children at like their literally afraid of their Child come on

  14. Wow if a parent doesnt even show a child the consequences that means they dont know consequences either… thats very sad…
    You just need to explain it so your child understands, with this intension.
    Dont shout and make your child feel sad.
    Explain it so he can understand.
    And always tell him why so also he can understand. Threat your child like he doesnt know anything.

  15. Difficult question to answer. We are talking about a child that bites others. Maybe the child has sensory difficulties. It doesn’t mean it’s out of anger. Same for a child that runs out in a parking lot. Sensory difficulties can be discussed with family doctor to evaluate what is causing these behaviours. ❤🕊

  16. I don’t believe in karma. I believe in energies and you attract what you believe in. If you believe in karma then it’s karma you get. All fear based energies attract energies of those fears. Rather questioning why a child bite. Is it because the child don’t feel safe? Then most probably the child will attract a bite back. The energy of deserving for example that a narcissist possess generates often that they become ceos and climb on everyone and anything. Without fear because they don’t have the energy of doing something wrong and no karma ever hits them. I believe that a child who feel safe and loved are in its origin energy from source without wounding and it will never lash out on anyone. If the child behaves badly I would look at myself as parent and question where I can change my own behaviour and the energy I pass on to my child. For a child the parent is it’s whole existence in the early years. Its safety, its source of love, care and protection regardless of the outside world. The child mirror the energy from their parents.