How To Stop Being Used | Robin Sharma

How To Stop Being Used | Robin Sharma

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I went mountainbiking for the first time this year (the snow finally melted) so I’m in an uber-great mood as I write you this message …

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44 Comments

  1. I have been living an exceedingly generous life in the past years, putting others before me and it feels great. I get nothing in return though. You kind of accept it, but it still hurts sometimes. Life is complicated. Just be generous like Robin says, because that feeling is the only thing to live for. Never live for yourself. Live for others.

  2. Actually this exactly what I dint want to hear
    I’m doing everything he is saying n I’m feeling used
    I was actually looking for some advice to get out of it all n make a limit

  3. I'm tired of being kind and helpful to people all the time. I hate myself for being this. ? I've been used by various people since forever. Victim mentality? No. But this is who I am. I can't say NO to anyone or anything… Because I always think other person shouldn't be disappointed. And that's where I lose. And eventually suffer at an extreme level…… And that pain is unbearable… Even though I never show it. ?

  4. I did what you said and it s not true. I am very generous and I should stop. When you do that, people really walk all over you. It s never like that… I gave a lot of my money, time and love to people that only took it and went away later on.. nowadays being cold, distant and not so giving is more valued than being a giver.

  5. This advice isn’t the best for co dependent people victims of narcissist abuse. We don’t know how to set boundaries or to realize when people are coming into our lives simply to use us. Our alarm bells don’t sound like those of a healthy person healthy people can recognize when somebody is a real friend and deserves generosity and when somebody is simply honing in on somebody to be able to use them for something. We can’t.

  6. Wtf is this? Setting boundaries and be generous is contradictory. Don't be generous to people that want to take advantage of you. Honestly be generous to people and things that are generous to you. No need to flex your wallet at a restaurant to not be used. That's just some bs.

  7. Thank you, I’ve always wondered what I was doing wrong but I never communicated or felt comfortable communicating how I was feeling. I tend to forget that people really don’t know and the lack of communication hurts me, i was hurting me.

  8. Yes very Wicked I've been trying to get on my feet for 11 years but I've been letting my family use me for labor when they could have helped me get back and forth to work yes people are very Wicked

  9. Great to hear this Robin, thank you so much. It's very seldom that people will say what you just said. I needed to hear this and it's very uplifting. Thanks again…….Sal : )

  10. I always let them.

    They can do whatever they want, it’s good to know it up front what they might do.

    They can do whatever they want. And so can I.

  11. Man what if you were used without knowing it until afterwards and they got what they got from u . And are nowhere to be found now it's f*** up thought that's my life oh well just dump dump and go man

  12. They usually respond with "a smart person like you…." Etc etc. When you call them out on their using. Dangerous evil response from someone who is using you because they will probably try to do something to you if it see their using.

  13. This is not realistic. You're just lucky you never had any bullies or other people in your life that did hold you back or exploit you. You didn't have unfair parents. You don't know what you're talking about, because you never had that problem.

  14. kindness reflects weakness In this life bud I have gotten more bye being a di%$ than being nice bye far when people think they can get away with somthing they will go for it everytime that's the real world the world u talk of we can only hope we get there one day ?

  15. Remember folks: if someone used you, it’s not all on you but also on them.

    You were the giver because you have a lot to give. You’re the one who needs to gain self-confidence and learn how to set assert & boundaries as well as how to respect yourself.

    They were the one who chose to be an asshole by using you. They are the beggars living in a scarcity mindset and in a constant state of lack. They are the one who will always take but never give and as a result of that always experience toxic and unfulfilling relationships. People will not love them nor want to stay with them for long. And they will never get to exprrience true love until they heal themselves.

    Dont hate them too much. Pray that they manage to somehow crawl out of the misery they are in. They are sad souls.

  16. Being generous could lead to a hook ready to hang you out to dry. Not to mention jealous people who see your generosity and want to gain from it or stop it. People from all angles ready to use you for your talent.

  17. Yes, my husband is a taker, I'm a giver (have been responsible from the age of 6) and the only way I can keep him from being pushy with me is to get angry at him – he understands that. So, aside from leaving – as you suggest not to surround yourself with takers – what else can a person do. I don't need to show gratitude – he does. He has gotten so much mileage out of me. My time, my energy on his projects never on mine. Generosity has gotten me nothing.