Balancing Love & Desire | Esther Perel

Balancing Love & Desire | Esther Perel

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The number one question married couples ask Esther Perel is, “How do we keep the spark alive?

In this inspiring Mindvalley A-Fest presentation, Esther Perel, bestselling author and relationship expert informs us that couples who keep romanticism alive, keeps the desire burning in the bedroom in your relationship or marriage.

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In this video, “Balancing Love & Desire” Ted Talk speaker, Esther Perel, walks us through the powerful emotions we feel in relationships and explains how to achieve relationship satisfaction.

04:13 Fundamental human needs
07:13 Where we come from
13:46 Why is it difficult to sustain desire in the place of love
19:42 When human radiates – Confidence
24:07 How do we cultivate our interest and desires
27:30 Today’s notion of freedom – Global Village
34:46 How our parents/adults influence the child’s world

Not only is Esther Perel a relationship expert, but she is also a psychotherapist who has worked with countless patients who experience loneliness within their relationships.

Her theory that the tension between the need to belong to society and the need for freedom in human relationships is to find a balance between the two. She informs us that finding this balance is how to deal with loneliness in relationships.

By combining intimacy and sexuality in marriage and long term relationships, Esther Perel believes this is a practical way to achieve happiness and contentment in life.

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  1. Not with the fi. When desire becomes love, dreams come true . My baby girl . A separate Time n place where we can let nature take its turn . In English . It is me. TY. Love

  2. I believe n recall to mind the ppl that spoke to me when I was young n beautiful . Arch , a.o.t , stated that I had many qualities that a man can like me about. As with the few good men , we spoke on a mental ( n physical ) level. Bear in mind that I worried about never having a man capable of conceiving me. In our country , this is the truth . If only I got a successful reversal. I'm not obsessing about intimacy .

  3. 35:45:
    FIRST CHILD — “I’ll give up a part of me in order not to lose you. I’ll forgo my freedom in order to secure my connection”. — [When in Rome, do as the Romans do. I want to marry him but my community says he has to ask me so I have to wait.]
    my mum (I love you Mum!)

    SECOND CHILD — “… is very zesty, curious, and eager and they want to go but they are constantly looking over their shoulder. ‘Am I safe, am I going to be punished, am I going to pay a price for this, are you going to collapse on me? What happens when I attend to myself?’” — [When in Rome, do as I do. I don’t care what the community thinks, I am just going to do it because that is what I want.]

    Absolute genius! I see so many stories that I have experienced since 1988. I am the ‘second child’, and I now know why I find ‘doing as the Romans do’, doing as the community does, heartily difficult! I have spent my whole life trying to avoid those punishments that Ester talks about. Being truly me, and behaving truly me, and not as the community does, IS my security! Maybe that is why I am single as I write this.

  4. i think to maintain the balance between live and desire requires a lots of fantasies effort and erotic thinkings ?… i dont think people have this time to do this …

  5. “It is not a problem that you solve. It is a paradox that you manage.” I feel that is relates to so many parts of life. It’s sitting with uncertainty. It’s putting meaningful effort, but open to the uncertain outcomes. UGH!

  6. ' The verb for love is' to have' and the verb for desire is' want' What is desire? Can we want what we already have? When you love how does' it you feel? And when is desire what is it different? An then lastely what does it help us keep it alive? '