Is Sex the Glue in Our Relationships? | Gaia Steinberg | TEDxShenkarCollege

In this video

Gaia discovered, at the age of sixteen, that they were asexual. Gaia is now a researcher on the subject of asexuality and lectures widely on the subject. In their talk Gaia discusses asexuality in the wider context of human relationships.

Gaia Steinberg is a queer activist and one of the leaders of the asexual community in Israel. Gaia’s work mainly consists of talks and workshops on sexuality and gender, with the belief that face-to-face conversations will bring about change. After discovering the asexual community at 16, Gaia was exposed to a new world that did not fit the romantic narrative told in movies. In their talk, Gaia will lead you through a journey of alternative relationships and untouched worlds of intimacy, bringing forth the messages the asexual discourse holds for relationships in general. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

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Comment (32)

  1. I’m 26 years old and ace/aro and the future Gaia describes envisioning for her and her friend is EXACTLY the one I want for myself someday. The way she described feeling that she was going to end up alone when she first figured out she was asexual is exactly how I felt and it’s something I’m still grappling with. But it’s something I feel better about after listening to this. I’m so grateful to Gaia for this amazing talk!

  2. this was really helpful to hear. i was brought to tears when they said that they thought they were going to end up alone and that they constantly felt like something was missing/inadequate, because that's how i've felt for several years and into the present, as i have slowly discovered my asexuality and have begun a new relationship. gaia, you are amazing <3 thank you for this.

  3. I'm aro-ace, and constantly feel ostracized. Everyone is looking for someone to spend their life with, maybe have kids or get married someday. But, I don't want any of that. I have a friend who I'm very close with, and she is really accepting of me. I want a really close and loving relationship with people, with physical comfort (hugs, sitting close together, etc.) but platonic. Nothing romantic, just a really close friendship where I know I can trust her with anything and she can understand, or if she can't then sympathize and comfort me.

  4. While watching I remembered this series of conversations with a friend of mine about possible futures. We're both very ace and find dating weird, and unrelated to that want to be roommates after high school. Like, we've ever set out base rules on chores and stuff, I'll cook since she can't for example. I'm 16 and she's 18, I want to be a software engineer and she wants to be an actress, and we can't wait to be roommates

  5. It is so sad and unfortunate to see that people in west use a beautiful word like "relationship" to term a body-based ties. If we here say that i have some relationship with a person then that can be meant as a brother/sister/friend/mother/dad.