Brené Brown: Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones Who Count

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There is nothing more frightening than the moment we expose our ideas to the world. Author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown shows us how to deal with the critics and our own self-doubt by refusing to “armor up” and shut ourselves off. “Not caring what people think,” she says, “is its own kind of hustle.”

Instead we must “reserve a seat” for the critics and our own self-doubt. “Tell them, I see you, I hear you, but I’m going to do this anyway.”

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2:14 “Design is a function of connection. Nothing is more then vulnerable then creativity. What is art if it is not love?”
3:11 Perspiration from fear
6:48 Theodore Roosevelt quote/passage that changed my life: “It’s not the critic who counts…”
7:39 Everything i know about vulnerability: it is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen
7:53 “This is who I want to be I want to create. I want to make thing that didn’t exist before touched them.”
8:14 One guarantee: you will get you ass kicked
8:39 “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m no interested in your opinion”
9:41 This is where we sweat
10:17 Fear, self doubt, comparison, anxiety
11:06 When you armor up, you shut yourself off from everything that you do an love
11:40 Without vulnerability you cannot create
12:41 Know your critics are there, know what they’re going to say
12:57 Shame, scarcity and comparison
15:20 “When we stop caring what people thing we lose our capacity for connection. When we become defined by what people thing we lose our capacity to be vulnerable.”
16:38 If you’re going to spend your life in the ring/showing up, you’re going to need: 1) Clarity of values
17:18 2) Have person in your life thats going to pick you up
18:14 “People who have the most courage and vulnerability are the ones who are very clear about who the critics are and reserve seats for them.”
19:32 One of these seats needs to be reserved for you

About Brené Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Washington Post, and The New York Times.

Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Gotham, 2012). In Daring Greatly Brené dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Fast Company Magazine recently named Daring Greatly one of the best business books of 2012. Brené’s 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks on, with over 6 million viewers.

Brené is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), I Thought It Was Just Me (2007), and Connections (2009). She lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children, Ellen and Charlie.

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Comment (867)

  1. “It’s scary and dangerous to be seen” is the accidental life motto I didn’t know I was carrying around with me all these years omg. My therapist told me about this woman and I’m so so glad I felt like doing my homework ☺️

  2. Yeah it’s scary being seen but not as scary as getting to the end of your life and thinking “ what if I were to have shown up”. – wow that’s a message a few people I know need to hear.

  3. I loved every minute of this video… I cannot believe you have critics you are a beautiful, intelligent, funny woman and your dedication to vulnerability is amazing. The video was amazing as a student teacher I think this video should be played to every teenager who thinks their hips are too big, their hair too frizzy, that they are not smart enough for their school work. Remember you are your biggest critic and when you start loving yourself, you can love others and be loved. 10/10 Brené

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